Will you marry me?

Of the many things that had happened to me since i last posted, here are the ones worth mentioning.

May25th : Flew to taiwan with darling. Wonderful trip with her. Being there for 4th time and i can't help but feel that this is THE best Taiwan trip i have ever had.

July1st : Youth day. But more importantly, the day she agree to marry me by accepting the ring i gave her. I am one happy man this Youth day : )

Operation first meeting

Just 2 days ago, my darling told me she is determined to know when was the first day me and her actually met and knew each other in person. So i was telling her that "day" happened more than 7 years ago and NOW then she ask me to find it out.............. So i start by smsing 2 old mc members who might have hard or soft copy of a minutes which might give the answer to the question she wanted. Alas, they don't have the files. My next option was to email the current club president to ask him to help me find a copy of the club's minutes (7 years ago.......) or from the previous OSA(office of students' affairs). Not hopeful........

The next day after the request was made, i started hunting for all my unnamed CDs to see if i might find a part of my history backed up in any of them. It was when i finally found a CD marked with "C:/" that i finally hit jackpot. Inside the CD contained 2 vital sets of file, my icq history of all my chat message from the start of using icq until the mid 2000 and all my email inbox mails from mid 1999 until mid 2000. Essentially, if there was any piece of text that would answer my darling's question, they were all here. Having spend 2 days, rambling through all that pile of data, I have finally narrowed the days to a narrow range of 1 week, i think. Considering that "week" happened 7 years ago, i would say i am quite proud of what i have found so far. Will talk more about all these stuffs another day.

Did something really silly, childish but i love it. Went to bedok reservoir playground with darling, which was still filled with sand ground unlike the now rubber ground, and wrote both our chinese names on the sand. Then i drew a large heart to encircle both our names. Truly something only kids will do but the both of us love doing it and damn proud of it :)

Everything just seems so right

Been so busy these days i can hardly find the time and energy to update my blog(aka lazy). Anyway, here's to summarise the main highlight for the past 3 weeks.

Firstly, we have gotten ourselves a pair of couple ring which now proudly sits on my left middle finger. I am so happy to have it with her, its one of those thing you always wish to do it with someone and finally now, there is this wonderful woman who is willing to have it with me. I kind of like the design too. To me, it is showing me how serious darling is into this r/s and how much she is willing to commit into it. Maybe to some, it is only a pair of rings but to me, it is our rings. It symbolises us and our love for each other.

Just spent a wonderful getaway in sentosa, my favourite place in singapore. Having spent such a great weekend there only strengthen my love for that little sunny island. The room that we stayed at had an excellent view of the sea. The weather was great. We ate sushi. We played in the sea. We strolled along the beach. We drank wine in the room and watch tv till we both fell asleep in each others arms. It was so wonderful. Playing in the sea water was something i had wanted to do all these while but it was only with her that i actually get to experience playing it with the girl i love. Dress in full clothings and getting ourself fully soaked might seem too young for us but it doesn't, we enjoyed doing that. Holding her in my arm while we slept through the night was something i didn't thought possible but somehow another, we can pull off a perfect position where neither of us need to compromise on sleeping comfortably. It's just her i guess. Somehow, with her, everything just seems so right.

Oh and she said those words to me ^_^ I am one happy man

Assumption

Why is there a need to cramp every single week with compulsary lame lesson so as to prevent anyone from flying for even a short break is beyond my comprehension. Sorry to say this to my school, but you guys are totally lame. Someone should give those f**kers a good slap to wake up their f**king ideas concerning the mental state and welfare of the students. Go to hell ***.

On a brighter note, i am still happily in love. Had a rather drama quarrel with Sq last mon at amk. Didn't know i would be doing such things again. Still, it didn't blow up to a scale which i use to have. I managed to pacify her and made her forgave me something which i would not have done years ago. I would have joined in the fun and made the quarrel into one spectacular free-for-all show. One thing i had learned from my past, always try to give in to the fairer sex even if they might be slightly wrong. With Sq, this was rather easy. Realised that when we both have differences, i was not so keen to straighten out things with her from my pov, all i wanted was to see her smile again even if i had to say sorry to her over no fault of mine. The reason for the rather slightly drama quarrel on mon was mainly due to the fact that she made me do something i really did not wish to do. Very demanding and unreasonable on her part. I love alot and could easily endure tons of things from her but that was very near my limit. Still, i eventually gave in to her willingly. I can give up almost everything just to have her happily with me.......

But i was mad with her just 2 days ago over another separate issue. Both of us love to make assumption. It was because of assumption that took us a much longer time to be together. It was also assumption that led us to misunderstood what each other was thinking. Which was why nowadays, i stopped making assumptions with her. Just 2 days ago, she made an assumption that i was deliberately hiding something from her even though i honestly wasn't. She could have work things out with me in person but she chose to sms me after i just laid in bed to tell me she was unhappy over it. I was so mad then I replied her in harsh tones. Felt bad doing that but i was really angry that she did not trust me and she misunderstood me by making wrong assumptions of me again. Still, i didn't really scold her or what, just that my tone was harsh from my sms replies. Everything's fine now........

If there was one thing i wish from Sq, i wish she would be honest with me in her feelings. If she is even slightly unhappy over something cos of me, i wish she would tell me. But mostly, if she truly love me, i really wish to hear her say that. Almost 2 months and still waiting for the 3 words from her.................

Bus ride

Bus ride from Sengkang interchange to harbour front interchange : $1.45
2 bowls of lor mee in Seah Im food centre : $5.00
Enjoying an afternoon ride on the bus with your loved one : Priceless

Both of us took the bus on Sun instead of the usual driving in either mine or hers car. I really liked the feeling of having her just next to me while the both of us were on the bus. Brings back the good-ole-day feelings of taking buses. Might try to attempt a random bus trip around singapore one day just for the thrill of it. Yes I am boliao............

Being taking quite a lot of pics with her these days. She look so good in so many of them. Wanted to post some of the pics here but my blog is still supposed to be anonymous. Don't want most ppl i know to know of this blog.

Tired, will try to type more soon.

My lovely Samsoon

I'm supposed to be busy preparing for tomorrow's important lesson but after finishing watching My lovely Samsoon, I have to pen my thoughts down or I will lose the feeling.

It is the 2nd time I am watching this particular episode of MLS. In this particular episode, the male proteganist, Sanshi, decides to break up with his long time gf Heejin even though she has done quite alot for him. Though it might seems like Sanshi is the bastard here, he did it because of his love for the female protaganist, Kim Sam Soon.

When i first saw this scene, if left a deep impact on me. It made me realised that ppl do break other ppl's heart and after doing so, the one who was hurt will learn to move on with his or her life. Of course, this is no excuse for anyone to go date someone only to break up when he or she just feel like it. This scene was partly the reason why I had the courage to move on and break Cc's heart.

Now, almost a few months later, I am rewatching this scene again. Although the same scene, my feeling for Sanshi shifted from symphathy to emphathy. Every word he spoke to Heejin was almost exactly how i would answer her. She asked him if he loved her and he answered "I think about her every day." and "When i'm with her, I am very happy." And then she go on to tell him that the start of every love is a novelty feeling that will wear off eventually but he answered "Everyone knows that they will die eventually but everyone still live their life." Exactly how I felt. In fact, I can feel the guilt that Sanshi, if he was real, was feeling when he broke the news to Heejin that he wants to break up.

I see myself in Sanshi, i pictured Cc sitting there and crying to what I say and answered her. I can feel the guilt that i felt when i told her I don't think we will go out again. In fact, there is this sudden urge in my to meet her and hug her to tell her i'm sorry for all i have done to her. But when i realised, that is as much as i would do for her, I knew tat it is not going to happen. Cc doesn't need me to console her after what i have done for her, nor do I wish to go back to her. Comforting her to try and ease my own guilt is not going to help anyone. I have to live with this guilt that I have broken the heart of a girl who loved me.

Before i left Cc, I already can't help thinking about Sq everyday. And now that i am with Sq, any day that i dont see her, i still can't help thinking about her and on top of that miss her alot. Never a day do i dread meeting her and never was a meeting between me and her something i regretted having, though there are some meetings where she showed her xiaoqiness.

I miss her

One month liao

Work sucks! It doesn't help when you are "isolated" in the office and almost no one regards your existance. Problem in me? Probably but I don't really care anyway. Hopefully things will change for the better once I am given my final posting.........

Alrighty, today's the one month anniversary of me and Sq. She was telling me it felt really fast and I agreed with her. This one month had gone by really fast for the both of us. So much had happened yet if we think about it, what is one month to 91 months? 91 months is approximately how long we had known each other and even though we were together officially for only 1 month, you tend to feel like you had being together quite a while. Time can be so deceiving but so can feelings.........

Really looking forward for tonite to come. But before that, more sianess in my office.